Category: Society

Observations on US societal constructs

“No” is Not Bad!

On By Pamala CliftIn Education, Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

Interesting watching this generation in America, they have never learned to say “NO” or even tolerated hearing it.

“No” is a word that is avoided today. You must say things nicely. Beg for your way so that eventually all will come about with a win/win for everyone.

My friend has started teaching again in a school where “No” has never been said. Adults have no power, no authority, no experience, no respect.

“I will tell my Mom.” is paraded out in front as parents come running to their child’s defense at every perceived inconvenience. The child is always right, because his/her feelings have gotten hurt.

We now have Universities that can’t teach, because someone somewhere may hear a word that makes them feel uncomfortable.

No rules are valid but the child’s desires. 

Where in real life is everything poofy, soft and nice? Why is that expected? We are not preparing this next generation for understanding that life is not cushy and there are consequences. How is that good?

This type of belief causes horrible consequences as children who have never heard anything negative are targeted by a troll online who starts picking on them.  They end up committing suicide. They don’t know how to deal with negativity. They have no internal scales to judge. No restraints on their emotions, no tools to deal with reality, let alone social media. 

Parents spend without considering consequences. No savings just debt, turn on water, electricity usage wastefully… A buy and throw away mentality that says MY needs are more important than anyone else, or the environment. A mindset that when we get to the edge will fall off most drastically.

If there is a God, (for which ‘evil’ is used as proof that their isn’t a God in some minds)…there are pluses and minuses. A lion wishes to eat, you are available to be eaten, hence there will be something negative that takes place for someone. Some believe there can’t be a God cause something negative happens and label it evil.

Consequences equals if you do X than Y may very well occur, but they are ignored. If you jump off the roof, you most likely will fall and break something, has to be taught. We are giving up our freedom, our ability to make decisive decisions because we are afraid to say no.

Instead we fall into the “Somebody-should-have-protected-me mode.” How this has gotten preferential cultural acceptance is truly a mystery. We claim everything is nice and have movies and games that show killing sprees and destruction as a fun hobby. Me is the most important. If I do it, than it is alright. Self indulgences is the focus.

So why is it the gun’s fault? I can have what I want, destroy what I want and you’re not supposed to tell me no.  

Learning NO is imperative! Having respect for those that try to teach you that is vital. 

“Tell the maniac to get on the ground”, doesn’t work in real anymore than it did in the movies. The culture doesn’t teach self-restraint.

The other movie quote most often quoted in my mind, “Life is pain, princess. Anyone telling you different is trying to sell you something.” That is why we have so much horrible spending on a commodity that does nothing… insurance.

We believe insurance will save us…but anyone with actual claims can tell you otherwise. They have learned to say NO, which only increases their pocketbook.

Saying NO, is not a bad thing. It puts up boundaries that only you have control over. You can move those boundaries without someone else’s validations if you have learned the NO’s. Both how to say “No” so you don’t take on more than you should do, spend, or indulge. Hearing No from those that say you shouldn’t go further in debt, have another drink or leave the lights on is a kindness not a constraint.

Other people’s concerns matter, the mess we make in our backyards matter, the debt we create matter, the waste we make for the world matters. Our kindness to others with raising the red flag of NO matters. If you’ve been across the bridge and it is weak, than share the NO with fellow travelers.

No, this thought process is not right. It has created the millenials.

No is part of the journey we must take in stride. The journey has black & white, ups & downs. It will be far more exciting if you know your on a roller coaster vs a flat train ride, preparing for it is the key.

Hugs, Pam

The Roadside Philosopher

No Time to Think!

On By Pamala CliftIn Education, SocietyLeave a comment

We are modern and important. We have LOTS to do. We need to time-manage every moment. There are only so many minutes in a day. The river of life doesn’t slow down for anyone.

These are the precepts of our life these days. No introspection, no free time (unless it is scheduled and then few know what to do with it).

If I wanted to make people sheep this is exactly what I would do.  Make them rush around after false goals. Tell them they are not successful unless every second is managed. Make their so called off times filled with entertainment, music, noise. That way they don’t have time to think, to question the status quo.

Hunger games, 1984, Brave New World, Animal Farm all have heroically pointed out the step-by-step method of dominating a society. Propaganda and more regulations should eventually shove everyone into line. We will be controlled. 

This is all there is to it:

1. Make entertainers positions of idolizing and the media God.

2. Regulate with insurance, taxes and complex laws every ounce of innovation out of the masses, so only those already in control can survive. 

3. Make sure healthcare is controlled so we can decide who lives and who dies. 

4. Fill their minds with stuff that means nothing all the time so they have no time to think. (paperwork that no one reads, but is there just in case someone wants to sue or the law says so; noise, closed in spaces, ratings or data so they can believe something is better than something else and they can fill their time chasing erroneous data projections or the almighty dollar which is a fiction as well.)

5. Fill their food with stuff they won’t let you know about-Monsanto.

6. Keep the people controlled with the unbridled Family courts that even regulate personal relationships.

It is horrible to think with all the information available out there we still don’t think. We don’t know how to think. We constantly look to someone else to think. The Pope, president, scientist says… instead of thinking ourselves.

Vacations have to be filled with amusement parks, Vegas, family demands etc. Not once have I heard, I am taking a vacation to go sit on a rock to think. lol

I have watched kids who have been filled with noise and meaningless activity wither in almost pain because they were forced to sit outside and think.  It is an unknown activity.

The body is not set up to deal with these constant multiple inputs; so we have sleepless nights as our brain works to defrag the day’s events into a cohesive manner it can store in memory. Instead we take pills by-passing memory-saving to the point we don’t remember what just happened and wouldn’t have the resources for proper introspection anyway.

The Roadside Philosopher’s is just a small little organization. Many there have disabilities that prevent them entering the rat race and they actually enjoy examining new viewpoints and thinking. They have time. 

How can we grab those moments back? How can we actually live?

Those who succeed tend to be those artistic kooks, who write, philosophize, make music or art. They are those whose inner being will not be denied. They travel a journey most often close-to-poverty just so they can express the being that is them. To show the world, wonder or a moment of beauty is all that is required.They enjoy the journey. 

Please find time to think and discover your own feelings and thoughts, so you too can enjoy the journey.

Hugs, Pam

The Roadside Philosoopher

Drone Thrills & Privacy Issues

On By Pamala CliftIn SocietyLeave a comment

 I got my order from Discovery magazine about Drones 360 and I was excited.

How fun to be able to fly visually over anything you wanted, gain new perspective and learn how to fly and run a drone! Wouldn’t everyone be jealous and want a chance to run it?

I saw so many uses for them, farming, photography, security, news reports, catastrophes, search and rescue… my mind was reeling. My Geek was showing.

Then I started seeing the vicious attacks on drones. Shooting sprees, hate mail to those that would use them and especially the American government and I had to step back. 

Sneaky invasion of privacy. Well privacy is only an illusion anyway but with YouTube and other venues simple biological needs can be truncated and photoshopped into anything and put it out in public. Yuck.

Wait! What if they are going to shoot people both with photography and weapons? I starting reading about the government making small insect like drones to deliver attacks or some such. Wait… *scratches head perplexed trying to remember the biblical stories of my youth*.

Quick Google search brought the chapter in the Bible referring to Revelations 9:4 “Then out of the smoke came locusts upon the earth, and power was given them, as the scorpions of the earth have power. They were told not to hurt the grass of the earth, nor any green thing, nor any tree, but only the men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. And they were not permitted to kill anyone, but to torment for five months; and their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it stings a man.”

Could these bug like things be a form of drone? Was I becoming a luddite? I saw things from another perspective. These could be great weapons for distributing anthrax, biological attack or a deadly gas and no one would most likely know where it came from.

That is really what is scary, to look up in the sky and see a strange drone above you and not know or be able to find out it’s purpose?

So I came upon an idea. Let all drones be a fair mark for the shooters, rams or baseball bats IF… they are not labeled. Meaning every smartphone could have an app that would show when a drone is near, what the drone id is, the owners, and purpose. So at any time you can look at the app and see if there are any registered drones in the air and their path. Planes have to have a flight path registered, if they don’t know their path they should be able to send out their id to the app so we can track them.

I would smile if I looked up and saw a drone and the app said it was a special event drone getting distant shots of a wedding party… or pizza delivery drone returning to home. I wouldn’t even mind if it was being used as a toy for learning to fly, or litter surveillance. 

If they can see us, we should be able to see them. If they refuse to register the drone or can’t send an id to a scanning smart phone, then get the guns out boys. Fair is fair.

Technology is jumping ahead by leaps and bounds, lets see if we can get a balance on every new technology before it is put out for the world. Every tool can be used for good or ill we need balance. Definitely living in interesting times.

Enjoy the journey,

Hugs, Pam

Old or the Alternative?

On By Pamala CliftIn SocietyLeave a comment
Youth rule! That is what today’s western culture wish us to believe. The old should do as Scrooge says, die and decrease the surplus population.   
That would cure so many of societal ills, if all the old and infirmed would not put such a heavy burden on the rest with Social Security, pensions, and medical needs.  

Those near retirement are being fired early and no one wants to hire an elderly person, even if they don’t SAY that. They figure you will point out the things they do wrong and they want to be boss. No one should know there is another way of doing things. Keep the peasants dumb.

I watched as they have worked to dumb down the population? It was cool to be an idiot?

I figure somewhere along the line they will taint the flu shots and “poof” problem solved. All of course except the 1% who are in charge of the government and know not to take the flu shots. 

I went to a Lakota Sundance the other day and “The Elders” were honored. The young would give you their place in line, move over so you could sit down, help you with your tent. It was an amazing feeling, not just for the elders but to watch the young people serve! They were acknowledging that they were needed! They had value! All the members of the tribe were validated. The youth got their energies focused in worthwhile efforts, and the elders got to tell stories of what they knew to help the young. Wow!

Not now in our culture. Sad really that neither the old or the young feel of value. I would like to see the beginnings of a turn around but not the way things are now. Pretty soon we will have Logan’s Run and all that is of value will be to be Renewed!

Someone asked if I could envision the next 40 years? I can’t, but it is even harder to visualize the alternative? *smile*

*holds up her hands palms up like a balance* Being Old on one side: Dead on the other.  Being Old then doesn’t look so bad as the alternative.

It is not a journey that should be predictable but it is a journey to be enjoyed for whatever good you can gleen from what is presented you.

Hugs, Pam

When Preparedness Meets Opportunity- Instant Success?

On By Pamala CliftIn Education, SocietyLeave a comment

You often hear the phrase. He/She was an instant success! 

That means they were suddenly brought out of obscurity into the public eye for their expertise.

Did they just develop that expertise overnight? The public eye may have become instantly aware, but the expertise was developed over years and many trial & error struggles.

The railway couldn’t have sent their first train to the west, until many things happened: the idea had to be conceptualized, the land surveyed, purchased, people hired and years of effort made to lay tracks. Were there hiccups? Absolutely, problems were there. Many times changes and compensation for errors had to be made. The success came only after all the work was completed. Only then could the train go over the tracks to the targeted destination.

Developing an expertise or a project is lonely. You’re trying to do something that hasn’t been done before so there is no one to grade you except you when what you envision does or does not solidify.  Many can’t take that. 

People want someone to validate them at every step, hence academia tries to launch self-thinkers by giving them validation with grades and certificates. But many times what they do is just get people into an addiction awaiting fast-food validation. (forever students) A validation that may or may not be valid, because nothing new has been established. The student has just regurgitated back what was already known from another forever student who has spun reality from their vantage point.

Those who get fed up with being told what to do usually leave to create their own reality. Working solo, fighting naysayers, trying to make things workout for the new set of problems that they see. Only after the thought has been envisioned, the research done, the money has been invested, and the years of effort to lay one track after another will the opportunity possibly come for a chance at instant success. lol

So prepare your passion, do your work, don’t care if you’re not recognized for your labor. Most artist, composers, authors and philosophers are not seen as great until after their death.

What you will get is the fulfillment of engaging your life with your passion. That is the blessing. You are contributing something new to the universe, a viewpoint, a creation that most likely will never go viral…or lead to instant success (which has its own difficulties), but has value. Believe in that.

If you’re tired of being just one of the sheep, and have the endurance for the long haul, get started now for your instant success…. possibly decades in the future. lol

Enjoy the journey!

Hugs, Pam

OMG…or Not! (When Bad Things Happen)

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

Bad Things Happen.

Life is a near death experience.

You have a disappointment or a biological snafoo and your first and only thought jumps to your worst fear. 

You are now using the little amount of positive energy you have toward, What? You are focusing your plot/story toward destruction.

Many of us read novels, biographies and movies, which as a requirement of interest, there is a major hiccup that has to be overcome. If there isn’t such a catastrophe there is no reason to read the book, watch the movie or even have bothered with the story, right?

Yet, our first tendency when faced with a staring-up-in-the-face-of-the-paramedic moment is to doom ourselves with, “This is the end!” We wall ourselves into a story that takes in no other possible alternative.

What if WE were the movie? We would watch the character chagrined at their dilemma and wait for the working out of the resolution. We think, “This is bad…or not?”

This is what I would like to add to our dilemmas of life. When a crushing blow hits…acknowledge the OMG moment but add to your thoughts…or not? You will find you can step out of the situation for a moment and see it as a storyline with multiple possibilities. It is now elevated to an “interesting” component of a greater story. This allows yourself to conceptualize other possibilities. 

Just that little bit of optimism makes the world of difference. You now have an escape route. 

Tons of studies have been done to see what aids in recovery of patients and a positive, purposeful outlook has had the greatest effect. Whether it is religion, family, job, goals or your spirit to persevere, that optimism is the key.

So how much more important is it to have that positive outlook when faced with non-lethal possibilities? Your love left you; you didn’t get the job, you lost the house, these are now just components of a greater story which is your life.

The movie of your existence is far more interesting now. So this tragedy is the last blow…OR NOT?

Enjoy the journey, both the ups and downs. Hugs, Pam

How Many Flavors of People?

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

You know how irrational it is when people try to compartmentalize you. 

“Oh, you’re a yellow person, an INTJ, or you’re an introvert.” 

People try to squeeze you into an easy-to-understand judgemental box, so they can dismiss you or accept you based on an “either/or” decisions tree.

“You are not my religion, or the wrong color, too fat, too skinny” The way people superficially categorize others is a huge problem, especially when you are on the receiving end. 

But you scream in your mind, I am MORE than just that one category  “Short, tall, Republican, Jewish, a dentist..etc. The fast food mentality focuses on “NO”. It is easy to find a reason to dismiss someone as irrelevant, no one takes the time to learn the complexity of an individual.

People come in different flavors and outside superficialities rarely tell the whole story. 

Looking for a soulmate is hard if you are not in a superficial, easily discernable category. That has become the bad thing of this modern world’s visual communication overload. It has become popular for men to only want thin ladies with the perfect makeup for their arm candy? 

In the older days it was considered high society if the woman had meat on her, which meant you were a great provider.

You are not bad because you don’t look like the plastic surgery barbie dolls on TV with their team of makeup artists and wardrobes.

You are good. The societal context is fleeting and only in individual cultures. We are big people, short people, curly heads or straight limp hair and all of that is ok. If we buy into the PERFECT, no one will be happy. 

Vanilla is pretty & bland looking but almost always acceptable. If you want to be bland…be conventional. 

However, if you think the spice of life is multiple flavors of people, with multiple perspectives and everything has both value and hiccups than you will open yourself to the wonders of the planet.  

Nothing is as wonderful as choices. Don’t buy into cookie-cutter ideals. Reach out and try those that are NOT your first visual choice. It is amazing the character of people that are not wasting time squelching who they are, so they can appear like someone else. They usually have personalities and thoughts above just cliches.

Take the path less traveled by and enjoy the journey

Hugs, Pam.

Time is Money? or Time is Happiness?

On By Pamala CliftIn SocietyLeave a comment

Most people who buy into the rules of the commercial game look at their time as money. If I work harder, smarter I will get the points of the game…which is money.

With money I can buy the big house (I won’t have time to stay in), the big tv (that shows the exact same shows as the little one), the fancy car (that drives the same distance to work as the economical one.) BUT people will look at me as successful!?!

That is apparently the point of the game… other people’s approval. That is sad really. Don’t the psychologists call that co-dependance?

Time is a gift if you can get outside of the sheep mindset. You don’t need to be entertained you need to create, explore, ponder, appreciate, and breath.

I have been relieved of a very stressful unappreciated engagement in a “Time is Money” project. Stuck in an office in a place that is cold, urban, crowded and often smog infested, I chose to do it out of love for a family member. Being relieved of that obligation means I am again free to be my own person. How glorious!

So many ways to now spend the most sought after and limited commodity on this planet…TIME! We are all inhabiting a deteriorating biological unit that comes with an expiration date. Health will also eventually cut into the opportunities, so while it is here, why waste it in doing something that you don’t enjoy? 

I watch as people who are for some reason homebound end up REALLY living in virtual worlds. What is it that they do in virtual worlds? They are doing the things that make them happy, being creative, learning, meeting people around the world, enjoying music listening or performing. They seek the things that are valuable, which are loyalty, comradeship, courage, and wonder.

What are their circumstances in real? They might live in a little apartment with minimum subsistence income, but are using their time growing.

Don’t get me wrong, crazies abound in virtual, it is part of the drama that one has to overcome to make the journey worthwhile, but the people that shine make it worth the venture. (Not to say that people in real are not crazy, they just wear their masks in a sociatal acceptable manner.) 

I now have several collaborative ventures that I am contemplating. 

I could use the lower income as an excellent excuse not to eat so much (working and eating at a desk 10 hours a day is not healthy), or when I do eat make it more of a meaningful experience. I have time not to just put in the hour at the gym sweating but hiking, bike riding, or volunteering. Remember where you put the weight of your engagement is what is of value.

At the end of your life, which we are all getting closer to by the minute… tick tick tick…will you say. “I did this and this and this.” or will you say, “I worked for them and them and them.” and got nothing of my own to show for my efforts.

Now that I am dating at this age, I ask the guys what have they done with your life? If all they can say is “I got employee of the month!” Ok well that won’t do for a philosopher. Don’t be a sheep. Don’t play the game. Make your own game with your own success markers. So when it comes time to die on a beach alone and friendless (which thankfully I don’t think will happen) it is only me that will decide if I have won the game or not. Only I that can say I ran the good course and be happy when I last close my eyes. 

In this economy the promise of security is only a ruse, so be free, be happy and use that amazing commodity of time for you.

Enjoy the Journey, Hugs, Pam


The Secret to Happiness… Physical or Virtual?

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, Philosopher comments on Reality, Society, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I have been examining what makes people happy, and I have come to a few conclusions.

  1. They have a goal they are working toward.
  2. They have and/or desire these thing
  • a loyalty
  • b. love
  • c. courage
  • d. determination
  • e. appreciation
  • f. beauty 
  • g. creativity (observing or creating)
  • h. forgiveness 
  • g. honesty ..etc.
  • f. a place to fit in

Most of these nouns can be used as verbs as well. “I love you.” Love being the action. or “Love is wonderful.” Love being the noun and subject.

All that is fine if you are into epistemology but that doesn’t solve anything really.

What stood out most is that none of the things, that makes a person really happy has a physical component! None of them can be touched! 

Touch can be a component of love, but it isn’t love. Physical stuff can be a small part of happiness, but even with everything-under-the-sun owned, without those intangibles, a person is not happy.

So that leads me to the off-handed conclusion that we are NOT of this physical plane. This physical plane is not what brings us joy. We have happiness from the intangibles! 

So if this physical plane was say a computer game, money were points where you got to buy things IN THE GAME…you can win the game but still not have accomplished anything toward what you desire, which is to be happy. The game is a distraction while you seek the things that are truly valuable.

Maybe we are also intangible beings, however you wish to describe that…(spirit, interdimensional beings, pure energy, intellect, consciousness), but obviously not materialists. 

Playing and focusing ON THE GAME of this world will actually deny you the opportunities to find what will make you happy. 

Following someone elses rules is also a dead end to happiness. If you feel that you are not good because you didn’t do what someone else says, (organization, political party, religion) told you to do, even if it doesn’t fit with your situation, you will not be happy.

So many unjust things have happened because someone followed what someone else told them to do. Then they were forced to struggle with the internal conflicts of what they desired and thought was right and what others demanded of them.

Taking ownership of your own thoughts, your own actions, and your own consequences will relieve you of those conflicts. Being-you honestly, will free you to be happy. 

Following someone elses pathway will always be uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but I hate the thought of being a cookie-cutter drone.

For any that have traveled third world nations you will recognize some truly happy people who have nothing. Why are they happy? Why do they play, and laugh so freely? It is because they have the intangibles!

Notice the sky, the air, water, plants, animals of this planet. The greatest joy can be the wonder of exploring. Even if a person sits on their doorstep and watches the world, the ants at their feet, the sun cross the sky, the opportunity for wonder abounds. Wonder inspires happiness. Gratitude is happiness. 

So many opportunities to be happy are ignored for the game. When will you take back your opportunity to be happy. 🙂

Hugs, Pam

…but I am so Lonely

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

Aren’t you interesting?

Strange that with so many ways to connect in today’s technological world, people can feel so alone.  

Everyone posts when something wonderful happens in their life or how much they love their significant other, which only increases the feelings of loneliness for those that are not actively engaged in some sort of partnership arrangement.

It can seem that all the world is happy and you just don’t belong, but it is not so. 

We are ALL alone. That’s right. Everyone of us are in our own skin and our own mind, alone! No one truly knows what goes on in our thoughts but us. Even if we are extremely articulate we can only share a portion of the tremulous struggles contained within our internal dialog. 

The problem is we feel we are only complete if we have someone mirroring back that we are ok.

May I extend a challenge and actually applaud your aloneness. You now have the opportunity to become whole. 

Often times we select partners that have skillsets that we lack. He can speak in public, while I am scared to death, or she is so creative while I can only add digits. We then feel more complete because the two of us can do most things. We shove off growing in one area because our partner has it covered. That is like a tree in the forest grows only where the other trees don’t cover the light.

But the solo tree on the hill is unencumbered with excuses and must seek to grow fully. The opportunity to become more complete is masked by the conventional wisdom that says we are “no one” if we do not have a mirror-validating partner.

Yet the tree that is solo on the hill is balanced admired and often times remembered and valued in the end. 

The ones in the forest just knock each other down and the forest feels no remorse over the loss of just one-of-the-many.

So be your own best friend, explore your weaknesses and strengths and strive for balance. Have fun taking your own self to the movie, or challenging yourself to expand your skillsets. There are so many alone that it is stupid to not go out and volunteer if you have the need to be social, serve others, but do it because you wish to, not because it is expected.

Be that tree on the hill. Concentrate on making the person that is you the most balanced and glorious tree it can be.

Just remember, to enjoy the journey.

Hugs, Pam