“No” is a word that is avoided today. You must say things nicely. Beg for your way so that eventually all will come about with a win/win for everyone.

My friend has started teaching again in a school where “No” has never been said. Adults have no power, no authority, no experience, no respect.

“I will tell my Mom.” is paraded out in front as parents come running to their child’s defense at every perceived inconvenience. The child is always right, because his/her feelings have gotten hurt.

We now have Universities that can’t teach, because someone somewhere may hear a word that makes them feel uncomfortable.

No rules are valid but the child’s desires. 

Where in real life is everything poofy, soft and nice? Why is that expected? We are not preparing this next generation for understanding that life is not cushy and there are consequences. How is that good?

This type of belief causes horrible consequences as children who have never heard anything negative are targeted by a troll online who starts picking on them.  They end up committing suicide. They don’t know how to deal with negativity. They have no internal scales to judge. No restraints on their emotions, no tools to deal with reality, let alone social media. 

Parents spend without considering consequences. No savings just debt, turn on water, electricity usage wastefully… A buy and throw away mentality that says MY needs are more important than anyone else, or the environment. A mindset that when we get to the edge will fall off most drastically.

If there is a God, (for which ‘evil’ is used as proof that their isn’t a God in some minds)…there are pluses and minuses. A lion wishes to eat, you are available to be eaten, hence there will be something negative that takes place for someone. Some believe there can’t be a God cause something negative happens and label it evil.

Consequences equals if you do X than Y may very well occur, but they are ignored. If you jump off the roof, you most likely will fall and break something, has to be taught. We are giving up our freedom, our ability to make decisive decisions because we are afraid to say no.

Instead we fall into the “Somebody-should-have-protected-me mode.” How this has gotten preferential cultural acceptance is truly a mystery. We claim everything is nice and have movies and games that show killing sprees and destruction as a fun hobby. Me is the most important. If I do it, than it is alright. Self indulgences is the focus.

So why is it the gun’s fault? I can have what I want, destroy what I want and you’re not supposed to tell me no.  

Learning NO is imperative! Having respect for those that try to teach you that is vital. 

“Tell the maniac to get on the ground”, doesn’t work in real anymore than it did in the movies. The culture doesn’t teach self-restraint.

The other movie quote most often quoted in my mind, “Life is pain, princess. Anyone telling you different is trying to sell you something.” That is why we have so much horrible spending on a commodity that does nothing… insurance.

We believe insurance will save us…but anyone with actual claims can tell you otherwise. They have learned to say NO, which only increases their pocketbook.

Saying NO, is not a bad thing. It puts up boundaries that only you have control over. You can move those boundaries without someone else’s validations if you have learned the NO’s. Both how to say “No” so you don’t take on more than you should do, spend, or indulge. Hearing No from those that say you shouldn’t go further in debt, have another drink or leave the lights on is a kindness not a constraint.

Other people’s concerns matter, the mess we make in our backyards matter, the debt we create matter, the waste we make for the world matters. Our kindness to others with raising the red flag of NO matters. If you’ve been across the bridge and it is weak, than share the NO with fellow travelers.

No, this thought process is not right. It has created the millenials.

No is part of the journey we must take in stride. The journey has black & white, ups & downs. It will be far more exciting if you know your on a roller coaster vs a flat train ride, preparing for it is the key.

Hugs, Pam

The Roadside Philosopher