Having a breakup can put you in the gun-shy group, where you live and relive what things SHOULD have been, and question what went wrong.

Then when you meet someone else you hold up the same things that were pleasant in the previous relationship and now see them leading you down the path of destruction. All pleasant things are now seen bad.

How can you get pass that and let yourself love again?

Yep, it was hard. Yep, your friends are really really tired of hearing your tale of woe and how it should have been, or how your ex is re-spinning the story that was the two of you into something it was never, just so they can justify themselves and their reactions.

There is only one way to get back into the game. You need to Forgive in Advance! Everyone is only human. We all spin the story of how we would like to be perceived, but if the story is only an ideal and falls apart and they realize they failed, they will push you away. They are in love with the story line that was the two of you, but no longer can keep up with the part they thought they could be.

Since life is full of hiccups and failed attempts, the only way to survive is to know that it will have difficulties and your story will never be perfect.

I have started dating again. God help me.. rofl. I let myself love, fully and childlike. I had a great time for as long as the mini-story lasted. Then the drama happened, the inconsistencies started and the vision that was painted initially fell to the way side and the dark side came out.

People had seen us. I am going to be perceived as having failed. What will my friends think? All these things can go through your mind as you examine what happened, but it is quickly removed when you have “Forgiven in Advance”. 

It is all ok. You are ok. Puzzle pieces match or they don’t, that doesn’t mean that the puzzle piece has no value, just that it doesn’t fit here.

If we have forgiven in advance that trials are absolutely going to happen, then we are no longer surprised. You have thrown down pillows to protect yourself from the fall.

Love is still a wonderful feeling and story line. We all wish to embrace the “Happily Ever After” fairy tale, but that really doesn’t exist. We have to carve out our own little messy story of love and there will be trials, but we live for the journey, not the destination, so enjoy your explorations.

Love & Forgive, both yourself and others. Best of Luck with your contacts and bounce backs.

Hugs, Pam (The Roadside Philosopher)