But What if I Fail?

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

…sup, sup…

Fear of failure seems to be a major motivating factor that STOPS everything.

“I can’t talk to her. What if she doesn’t like me?” 

We are afraid of rejection, so much so that games are incorporating that fear to get you to buy stuff. Wow, we can’t even stand to see the word FAIL on a Candy Crush level so we will buy a cheat component to pass level 147.

“But what if I fail?” Is hardwired into us. Fail means you’re not good enough…but in whose eyes? By what game? …and who says you have to follow their rules? Is that game even valid to you, really?

I have been watching a lot of Disney movies lately and there seems to be a common thread for each hero’s journey… The hero breaks the rules! Mulan was a female who went into the army; Aladdin was a street rat who stole; Hercules wasn’t a hero until he truly sacrificed what others thought valuable to safe another… In other words, until you step outside of the box of OTHERS expectations to be true to the voice within you, you can’t truly succeed.

That’s true in real life as well. “You can’t fly.” was said to Wilbur & Orville. You can’t… YOU can’t… YOU CAN’T… is what everyone else will say who doesn’t hear the beat of your drum.

So are you going to listen?

I had a smart aleck guy tell me he was so smart that he knew how this game would end and he would always win. He then went and told me the rules to his game. I looked at the board, determined that if he knew things would end his way if I followed his rules, then I wouldn’t follow his rules. I am mischievous that way. *wink* I created my OWN game, which was; I was not going to let it end the way he anticipated. That was the game I was playing.

We create our own game with rules that we determine. If you play someone elses game, with THEIR rules, they will win.

Same thing goes with our current life. The rules say the points are $. If you don’t have enough dollars you have FAILED. If you buy into that game you will indeed fail…because guess what? No matter how much money you get, you will die. 

We will all die, but if you spent your whole life chasing those $ points and have foregone all the things that YOU wanted out of your time here on the blue planet, then you have failed you. 

Nobody at the end of your life is going to give you a blue ribbon and say you won, because you got the most $ points. It will be just “you, yourself, and I” that reviews your life.

What game are you going to play? By what rules are you going to live? Do not even flinch if someone says, YOU Failed! in their game. You’re not living their game. You’re living yours.

So if that girl says, “Go away, Creep.” Don’t consider it a failure, consider it a new challenge. Make up your own game. How many different ways will she say “Get Lost” before you whittle her down to, “Ok, I will have a cup of coffee with you.”

Yeah! Your game rules. You determine when you have won. Awesome isn’t it. Only you get to say when you fail, but fail only means you have quit. You can easily redraw the rules to your game and come at it in another way.

The only way you fail, is if you follow other’s rules to their game.

Enjoy the journey…just make it your own.

Huga, Pamala

Agile Personal Relationship Choices

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal RelationshipsLeave a comment

Project Manage-Your Interactions

There are tons of articles that tell you how to spend your money, or predict your financial future with offerings of decision trees or unique methodologies, but very little to tackle the emotional drama-trauma that comes with intimate relationships?

So outside of the State of Being component (see presentations) to judge at what level of engagement the person opposite is in, I would like to offer one other simple structure.

You have all heard the  “What does it mean to you… On the scale of 1-10 construct?”

Well my judgement of #7 might be a whole lot different than your #7.  Is the other using metric or inches? Size is relative…ask any fisherman. lol. So what we have to figure out is what measurement tool “we” as a couple can use. (You have to admit Geeks are usually not very strong on relationship issues…smile)

In Agile they talk about using a NON-measurable component to judge the complexity of a project for any one team. Each team of programmers has a different composite of skillsets from which to assess a task’s difficulty level. It can’t be judged by anyone from the outside. That’s a really important statement. It can’t be judged by anyone from the outside!

So let us decide together on the name of the construct “we” can use to communicate. In Agile meetings I offer the term “Hiccups”, because that typifies things we have to get over or through, but for a personal relationship lets pick something more positive. 

It doesn’t matter what name you pick, because it is just between you two. Something that matters to you both. Say, what originally brought you together was that you both really really loved asparagus. Now if that is a known factor you can make that a 5 level, anything above that is a wow, anything below that gives you the idea it is not as good as asparagus.

Distance of how far above or below asparagus has to be developed over time, in Agile they are called iterations. Now when you have a decision to make such as, which movie to go to you simply say it is a 7 asparagus, meaning you like it better than just asparagus. 

But the distance also has to be decide. Will you mean that 7 asparagus is a fraction of asparagus better or exponentially two times greater than asparagus like the earthquake scale? This takes work and size matters.

I talked with one man that said he loved his mistress 100% and was greatly saddened that she responded with 80%. Well they were both married and loved their spouse 100% too….you see how complex it is trying to put numbers to emotions. He was thinking he would do anything for her as the 100% and she was thinking of 100% as being a composite of the love between her two men.

That measurement distance is extremely important. It sucks to play with things at the beginning but amazing when a simple phrase of “2-asparagus” is used to convey in secret that “No, I don’t want to go with them to play cards tonight, if you make me, there will be repercussions.”

We each are different. Men and women are different. To make a relationship requires figuring out how the team of the two of you will work. Give it a scale and use it often enough to judge the distance. Afterwards discuss what you thought their rating meant. 

“OOOOhh I thought you meant you wanted to go to cards two times asparagus?” Size matters…smile

No one had a measurement for time, length, weight or anything until someone started to place a random assignment on something and made markings from there. All measurement is random until it is universally accepted between all those that use the scale.

It can be a fun game. A way to start a relationship with something to talk about for almost anything. “Why do you say that is a 7 asparagus sign?” 

Well the logo was clever, the colors were striking, they positioned it at a location that will make for excellent marketing….so many ways to judge things, but even if we judge from different standpoints we now know the value base that is in common between the two of you and that is an excellent base from which to start.

Hugs, Pam

The Freedom of Letting Others be Free!

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

Whee…

It is amazing how much we wish freedom for ourselves but want to curtail others.

It is also a knee-jerk reaction for women to want to tie down a man for their security, and men’s desire NOT to be burdened. So we have a gender issue here.

We have those who think their religion should dominate the planet and they will do whatever they have to do to make others See the Light! 

There are those that say they are scientifically minded and believe everyone elses experiences irrelevant, seeking to step on and smear anything that can’t be proved with numbers (as if numbers were not a fictitious construct created by man in the first place). 

Everyone is trying and working toward convincing someone else to do something. Advertising, politics, legal, education all societal constructs are meant to corral a person into thinking like someone else wants.

It is sad really that your validation as a human is in the hands of all those “others”.

But what if we REALLY let others be free. (to the extent they do no harm) What would happen? What if we were allowed to talk about the things that made us different without worry?

I have seen for myself the freedom of being non-judgemental grow. In fact, when you take the judgemental out of your perception the only thing left is sincere questioning and listening. “Uh? You like to lick rocks?”

Ok the first thing a judgemental person would do when confronted with such an observation is to pass a judgement that the person is an idiot and try to talk to them about how unsanitary and disgusting that is… BUT if you stopped being judgemental you may just inquire, “Why do you lick rocks?”  

This opens the gate to freedom. Now the person is being respected and not judged and an avenue of communication has opened. Then you are opened to be enlightened by this unusual activity, and may find out the geologist you’re talking to is extremely brilliant. You would have missed out on all that if you had stamped out your judgement.

So not judging others is freeing for you, freeing for them and is the beginning of what we all wish from this life: To be recognized as individuals with different talents and needs.

Imagine for a minute what it would be like if people were not afraid to say I’m Jewish, homosexual, drum player, artist, philosopher and met with a question like, “Tell me what that is like and why it is of value to you?”

This insight of life was beaten into my head with the seven years of the Roadside Philosophers. So many bizarre personalities that with time and understanding have grown to flower into the unique beauty of their true selves. 

Wow, the world is inundated with unique perspectives all stuffed on this little globe of a planet, as soon as you set yourself free you will find never ending explorations and understanding await.

Enjoy the journey!

Hugs, Pam

Whose Dogma is Reality?

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, Philosopher comments on Reality, SocietyLeave a comment

Oh Yeah?

Reality is a variable which depends on who is spinning the tale.

It saddens me to hear people get on their high- horses and use invalid trump cards without ever really thinking things through from the beginning.

There are the religious people who throw the trump card, “The Bible, Koran, Confucius, Torah, Budda…Says…” and that is supposed to end any further discussion.

There are the materialists that keep throwing Science up as their trump card without ever examining their thought processes either. That is even more distressing. They claim the scientific method trumps just Faith. Yet they have faith in things which are just as much of a story as Venus rising from the waves. 

We have dogma. According to Wikipedia, “Dogma is a principle or set of principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true. It serves as part of the primary basis of an ideology, nationalism or belief system, and it cannot be changed or discarded without affecting the very system’s paradigm, or the ideology itself.” 

The fight between the dogmas is just like the dogs above with the stick. “Its mine…no its mine.” The basis behind almost every war.

The materialists say things like…”I can’t see God, so it doesn’t exist.” (Well, that seems silly…since we have microwaves, music and all sorts of smells that can’t be seen either.) That does not mean it doesn’t exist. It only means we are infants in this universe and do not have enough ways of discerning something. You can never prove something does NOT exist.

…But I love this! This is where I bring in Gravity! Still materialists will say, I can SEE gravity work so that is real. 

What is Gravity? I will let you Google that, because the closest thing that science can say is it pulls matter together. Gravity is undefinable, just observable.  

Notice that the religious people use the exact same method of validation in their definition for God: “See the universe and all it’s amazing intricate complexities? This is an observable mathematical wonder that proves he/she/it exists. A painting can only exist if there is a painter.

So what materialists have done is given the word gravity to an observable unknowing interaction. That is when I say, lets switch words. Lets give gravity a new name…lets call it God. 

Now we have a construct, both unknowable, both do things that are observable but not definable, why is either name wrong? They are both just words for something we know little about. Calling it gravity, instead of calling it God does not clarify a thing! It is a dogma that we fall down on when we don’t know what we are talking about. One unknown, undefinable or the other still gets us no where. Everything is an infants story of how the universe works. 

Yes, science can take the few tinker toys we have and build a toy house, but never seem to be able to give the construct a complete enough infrastructure to make it work!

The cover of Scientific America May 2014 throws out an often repeated story to the gurus of the religion called science. It says: “A Crisis in Physics?” The article talks about the belief that was going to pull everything together appears to have died. In other words, just like the dozen or so other times that brilliant minds have come up short, they are almost faced with the confession that what they declared as fact is indeed fiction. 

That is the good part of science, at least at some point they may admit they are wrong, but it takes hell-in-a-hand-basket to get that.

As a philosopher that constantly examines reality, I see no point in arguing what is true, only what is perceived. Since every perception is relative any expressed perception or experience honestly conveyed has validity.

We don’t need more wars. We don’t need more dogma. We need to listen. We need the freedom to explore. We need to share without trump cards. 

Wouldn’t that be a wonderful journey to enjoy?

Hugs, Pam

Less is More

On By Pamala CliftIn Business, Insight Blog, Philosopher comments on Reality, UncategorizedLeave a comment

…more red tape

Marketing has always spoon fed us the notion that MORE=Happy. 

We figure if we have more food, a larger pool, a bigger house, more money, more friends that THAT will mean we are happy!

It takes a long time to reach the glutenous conclusion that “More” does not make one happy.

We have a government that figures MORE laws, MORE forms, MORE requirements will make things run smoother, but it doesn’t. More red tape helps no one. MORE is not the answer…less is! Wouldn’t it be lovely if all the laws were reduced to the Hippocratic Oath? “Do No Harm.” 

I have watched those that have it all, flounder, rot and die of boredom. The only thing that keeps them afloat is changing and starting over, because starting is exciting. We live to try things anew, to start new stories. A bit of danger and the insecurity of NOT knowing everything is safe produces endorphins that lift us out of ourselves and we strive to do the impossible. That is called living, whether we succeed or fail we have a story worth telling.

As you examine demographics of the baby boomers, you can watch the generation go through almost child-psychology-like steps.

  1. Everything is exciting and an adventure. (our childhood)
  2. What you tell me is not necessarily so, I will find my own truth. (hippies-teenagers)
  3. Well, I can do it better than you. (start families and/or careers)
  4. So I am successful if I have things? OK I will get MORE. I want to WIN! (cut throat “I” mentality)
  5. Deterioration of the dream, divorce, job loss, mid-life crisis, age related illness. (Awakening to the illusion 40-50s)
  6. What has been told me is not necessarily so. What actually makes me happy? (60)+
  7. Everything is exciting. To watch a new day dawn, a movement in the morning, the little things like a call or a card become extremely valuable…it is conscious thought that is valued. (70+ and maybe a good movement. lol)

So there you have life. The graph can be laid out on top of every generation as we start, beat ourselves up to play our cultures dictated game, give up and appreciate what we had from the beginning.

I am on the downhill side of this bell curve and watch others doing what I have done. Downsize which means, less to move, less to insure, less to lock up, less to look for things you have misplaced, less paperwork.

Your assignment is to look past your culture’s dictated game of life and create what makes you happy, taking the consequences and the lack of safety as part of your adventure. 

The only way that you will find your happiness is by first appreciating every little component around you. If where you focus IS reality, which is my premise throughout this blog, you will be far happier if you can focus on what a generation of experience starts and comes back to…its the little things that are of value.

Enjoy the journey by creating it yourself.

Hugs, Pam

Dealing with NEVER…the word that ends something.

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, Philosopher comments on Reality, SocietyLeave a comment

NOT That…

One thing is for sure, everyone reading this (outside of bots) are inhabiting a biological unit.

That deteriorating biological unit comes with an expiration date.

Nobody likes that, so we pretend it does not exist. It is the fault of everyone else or things, or insurance etc. 

I sometimes have a hard time with people when they start ranting about their 95 year old parent getting an infection and dying in the hospital. They act like death could have been avoided? 

There IS an EXPIRATION date in everyone’s folder, but that is not what I wish to talk about today. 

The term NEVER has horrible connotations. We use it when dreams and expectations come to a final conclusion. “You will never walk again.”; “You can never have kids.” “He/She will never love you again.” These are definitely impactful statements that require rearrangement in thoughts, mind, and heart.

How do you deal with the envisionment of your life story terminating. Well I can pretty much guarantee there will be a time of bewilderment. You should properly mourn your loss with grieving rituals, but set a time limit.

When we envision our future we create a narrative and a dialog of what we think it will be…but it is just a story. There are sooo many stories and “Happily Ever After” is rarely one. We KNOW that we should do this… and run full steam in that direction anticipating that it will go straight to the simple conclusion, but that is not so.

Our story is more like a map, but we are too blind to see it that way. Our journey of life gets insights to turn left here; join a group, go to college, marry this person, take this job, move to this location etc. And we somehow always take the stand that this is the ONE direction into infinity. 

There are many twists and turns that will happen but as linear-time-line entities we never want to anticipate doing anything but going straight through the direction the left turn took us forever.

Try looking at life as a GPS device. “For NOW, I will do this…”; “I went in that direction until I came to a new cross road and was told to turn right.” Can right at this intersection of the journey of life be right at this location but wasn’t right for the last decision. Yes! Timing is everything. You can’t easily get to work if you take the exit before the one that takes you to your work location.

Never just means you have to make another selection, it is not a termination of your travels unless it is a termination. If we look on Never as a detour sign, or a reroute it is simply the opportunity to create a new story, than we can deal with Never. Your story gets a refresh, much more creative and entertaining opportunities await.

You might never walk again, but that single person hover craft you will invent works so much better! You make new goals and challenges and as soon as you decide on the new direction and let go of the past fantasies you can again enjoy life.

Life is a convoluted map and all we need to do is keep going forward with a story. Pick a story that energizes you and that you have some control over. (“…When I win the lottery”…puts you in a forever holding pattern. There is no travel there.) 

The saddest most depressed people are not the poor ones, the broken ones, the lonely ones…it is a person without a direction and a story. 

And guess what? You are totally in charge of your story and can change it with just a thought. Striving is fun…succeeding is not necessary, but a direction is.

The power of your story is everything. I hand over to you the key to the universe. Create the amazing entity that will be you…not once but at every intersection of life, and enjoy that journey.

Hugs, Pam

Project Manage YOUR Life

On By Pamala CliftIn Business, Insight Blog, Philosopher comments on Reality, UncategorizedLeave a comment

…and the graph says?

I meet a lot of Agile and Project Management professionals, but rarely do they think to take their business management expertise and apply it to their own life.

People seem to just be flotsom (material or refuse floating on water). Wherever the wave or current takes them they deal with it as if they have no control.

No one thinks. The day is filled with noise and demands from outside. They keep “background noise” going on all the time so they don’t have to examine their own thoughts? Why is that? One of my favorite sayings is: It takes a pretty good person to be alone and find themselves in good company!

What a tragedy to come to the end of ones life having never known who you are? …or spent time on the the things that mattered most to you.

So lets take steps to fix that. In Agile/Scrum the Product Owner makes user stories for the team to solve a situation with a program. Like, “We need to create a table with all the customer’s past orders; so the customer can reference them for future purchases.”

So lets make YOU the customer. First what is it you want? Most people don’t know what they want because they have never THOUGHT about it. They just dream of it being all handed to them in the lottery or something.

So the first step is communication with the customer…You! Set aside time alone with no distractions and talk with yourself. It could be out loud or in your head. You could write yourself a letter or video tape your thoughts for later play back.

Remember to take in SCOPE, RESOURCES and a TIME frame. You need the user story to have a conceivable conclusion date. Example: “Walk 30 min. a day on Johnson pathway, until I can get into my black jeans.” That user story terminates when you successfully get into your black jeans. 

Now if you’re a size 24 and your jeans are 8, that is a timeframe and scope doomed to fail. Make your user stories no more than 3 month personal sprints. In business it is two weeks, which would be more toward the ideal. We all need to have successes. It leads to more confidence and comfort when taking the next sprint.

“I want world peace.” is not a desire that is within your power, nor something that you will eventually be able to check off. So that is not a good user story.

Start with three things that you want. 

Say you want a new job. Well if you make that your user story, you’re doomed. These need to be action steps that can be checked off and fully within your power, so the user story would be more appropriately stated this way. “I will rewrite my resume and submit it to three positions I desire before the end of the month, so that I can feel satisfied I am working toward a better life.”

No one can guarantee success outside of your efforts, but your efforts should be stated in a way you will be able to feel success.

Life is a journey and persistence says you have never failed till you quit. If nothing changes and you don’t get a new job. You can create a new user story that says, “I am going to join the Rotary Club and make 3 new contacts so I can start networking toward a better job.”

There is no failure. There are just steps toward success, some are backwards, around mountains, underwater, and delayed but the maze of reality is an adventure to be enjoyed.

Find out who you are and then make this exercise of breathing-in-&-out one that delights you every morning.

What a wonderful journey. Hugs, Pam

When Choosing a Partner, Look for the Negative

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, SocietyLeave a comment

Wrong music

Making a decision about a mate is most often made by looking at what is desired. He must be tall; she must be thin. Must be a beautiful person, make lots of money etc etc.

We shop like it is a grocery list. “Sorry you do not meet my criteria. You’re dismissed.” This is totally the wrong way to look for a frail human companion.

The most important thing is to look at their faults. That’s right…their faults. These are the things that will cause you to tear your hair out down the road. 

A relationship is not a trophy on your arm for the evening this is a lifetime dance, or at least a decent length commitment.

If their worse fault is something you can tolerate and accept, you might have a match. It is the worse side of your partner that has to be examined yet we only look at the cover of the box.

I usually tell the men I date..(not that I am doing that very much at my age) that I do not call it a relationship until we have had a fight and get past it. 

The main reason is that you see people’s true colors when they are mad. Also if you can figure out a mutual conflict-resolution methodology that both of you can tolerate…you might have a winner. Until then it is just a getting to know you waltz.

Most things GOOD will change. He could lose his job. She could get pregnant and fat. None of those components will stay stable, but a mutual commitment toward conflict resolution will give you a firm grounding for a REAL relationship.

Life will NEVER be perfect. The Cinderella Story is just that, a story. What makes things work is examination, communication and integrity of effort. 

The role we play for our significant other gets old after a while and we can only pretend to be a perfect person for so long. None of us are perfect. *gasp*

Men and women are different. Our needs are different. If one member of the group is unhappy and we haven’t the energy or the commitment to figure out where things have gone astray…the relationship will enter the ending phase.

You may find out that the people that have the character traits for an enduring relationship are just the opposite of your original shopping list. He might not make much money, because he puts his efforts toward his relationships. She might not be as thin, because she spends more time on others than on herself and vanity.

So if what you really want is a relationship that will last? Try looking on both sides of the shopping list… the good and the bad. If they are short on the good but you can tolerate their worse. You might still have a great deal.

Enjoy the journey. Hugs, Pam

…But a Name Makes it Real?

On By Pamala CliftIn Business, Philosopher comments on RealityLeave a comment

My name is…

The “What is Real?” question about virtual existence has brought about tons of questionable aspects of our real life.

Names: What are names? Well if you pay the right people and fill out the right documents…”Poof” you now have a REAL company because it has a unique NAME! Did it exist before? Well, yeah you were working on it for awhile before you decided you wanted to be official. So giving it a NAME makes it real.

Back in the farming days people raised animals. I remember being told NOT to name the animals that were destined to be on the table, because you can not eat a pet. Naming an animal made it a real entity not just a future dinner.

Naming is a very powerful intimate association. It sets the level of engagement between two people. If someone you don’t know comes up to you and says “Mr. Smith great to have you with us today”, you respond in a formal mode. That addressed-name gave you your interaction path.

However, if someone you don’t know comes up to you and calls you by your first name and slaps you on the back, you instantly start racking your brain for any past association with this individual that would bring it into the familiar. You have again been given an interaction path. 

So when you create something, a drawing, painting, poem, song, product, a lot rests on that name, because it will announce how the expected interaction path should go.

Online we take new names. These new names are meant also to direct our interactions. They tell in advance if you want to be considered in a certain strata of society. PunkRocker, DumbBlonde, VetReturned, SmackMyAss, ProfessorKnowItAll, QueenofAll, PriestofEverything…so many ways of naming our envisionment of ourselves.

Just like in real life those lovely titles that people add to their names is suppose to give a certain framework in another’s perceptions.

These are only aspects of us; not us in entirety. We are called by many different names and respond differently to each. If someone addresses you as Pastor Bob, there is a list of characteristics and mannerisms that you pull from a file in your head that says this is how I interact.

However, when you get home and your wife says, “Come here lover.” you pull from a whole different folder. Does that mean only the one with the official name is real? 

They ALL are Real because they are names you accept as a folder composite of your characteristics. 

So is the name you use online real? If you accept it as real. If others know what perceived interactions are associated with that name, it is just as much a real folder composite of you as any of your other names.

My question to you is? At what point in time and what selection of folders will you bring into the entity that you are designing as the final YOU.

Discard the names that you do not identify with. If your childhood name was pee-pants, that is no longer you. Do the examination of all your folder names as you work toward the guru’s advice of being one and whole.

Whatever final composite of you that you create, examine it. Don’t let others choose your names unless that is an interaction you wish to embrace. You do have the final control over that package. Enjoy the exploration.

Hugs, Pam (The Roadside Philosopher)

We do not live for Reality; We live for our Fantasies.

On By Pamala CliftIn Interpersonal Relationships, Philosopher comments on RealityLeave a comment

…and they lived happily ever after.

What is true about our dreams? …About comic books? …About making Barbie talk to her doll friends? …About having your action heros save the day? …About watching a movie? …Reading a novel? …Seeing art or visualizing reality in a different way through music or touch?

All creativity is intrinsically valuable and it can make us happy, sad or introspective. The very components that we value as humans are materially NOT Real. Courage, Loyalty, Peace, Creativity, Beauty, Love, Challenge, Wonder etc. are Not touchable in this material world? 

Many of these things that we value and can not touch we have made a representation for in this material world, but are still not really touchable themselves. Music, writing, math, ideas are all non-material but we work like crazy on those items trying to show what contains our real passion. 

Watching a garden grow has its own intrinsic value even if the crop doesn’t quite work out, the process intrigues us and makes us happy. We wonder, ponder and that is where we reap joy. Questions, not answers, engage happiness.

If you think about it, very little of the material world makes us happy for very long at all. All material information or things do not trigger in us anything more than a temporary satisfaction. 

When we look back on our life, we might say “That was a sweet ride.” of a car we owned, but was it the car or the girl you got into the car that made it sweet? If everyone else thought it an ugly car would it have been as valuable. The components of this real life are validated by the non-real.

The identity of humanity does not lie in the material world. 

The material world IS the game! We judge if we are winning by the $ we get just like points. We might count our popularity polls or the votes we can get, but we are aware that all of these things are transitory. They can shift at any moment. 

So how and why do we persist in stating as derogatory that “something is not real”?  “Not Real” contains the most value in our search for happiness and satisfaction.

It seems sad that we are not allowed to express our childlike thrills unless given a material spacial-excuse for such behavior. You can only be silly or crazy at a party, bar, or a specially allocated location designated to say you’re allowed to fantasize, such as a theme park or interactive play.

When we get up in the morning we do not live for coffee, the news, hygiene rituals, laundry or traffic; We live for the conception of the future that is currently a dream…vacation, weight loss, finding love, retirement, saving the world, going on tv or any other illusion that gives our life a goal and a meaning that sends our mind into fantasy. 

It is one of my favorite statements now and I say it often, when someone states what is truly not real. 

We do not live for reality; We live for out fantasy! Enjoy Yours!

Hugs, Pam (The Roadside Philsopher