Dealing with NEVER…the word that ends something.

NOT That…

One thing is for sure, everyone reading this (outside of bots) are inhabiting a biological unit.

That deteriorating biological unit comes with an expiration date.

Nobody likes that, so we pretend it does not exist. It is the fault of everyone else or things, or insurance etc. 

I sometimes have a hard time with people when they start ranting about their 95 year old parent getting an infection and dying in the hospital. They act like death could have been avoided? 

There IS an EXPIRATION date in everyone’s folder, but that is not what I wish to talk about today. 

The term NEVER has horrible connotations. We use it when dreams and expectations come to a final conclusion. “You will never walk again.”; “You can never have kids.” “He/She will never love you again.” These are definitely impactful statements that require rearrangement in thoughts, mind, and heart.

How do you deal with the envisionment of your life story terminating. Well I can pretty much guarantee there will be a time of bewilderment. You should properly mourn your loss with grieving rituals, but set a time limit.

When we envision our future we create a narrative and a dialog of what we think it will be…but it is just a story. There are sooo many stories and “Happily Ever After” is rarely one. We KNOW that we should do this… and run full steam in that direction anticipating that it will go straight to the simple conclusion, but that is not so.

Our story is more like a map, but we are too blind to see it that way. Our journey of life gets insights to turn left here; join a group, go to college, marry this person, take this job, move to this location etc. And we somehow always take the stand that this is the ONE direction into infinity. 

There are many twists and turns that will happen but as linear-time-line entities we never want to anticipate doing anything but going straight through the direction the left turn took us forever.

Try looking at life as a GPS device. “For NOW, I will do this…”; “I went in that direction until I came to a new cross road and was told to turn right.” Can right at this intersection of the journey of life be right at this location but wasn’t right for the last decision. Yes! Timing is everything. You can’t easily get to work if you take the exit before the one that takes you to your work location.

Never just means you have to make another selection, it is not a termination of your travels unless it is a termination. If we look on Never as a detour sign, or a reroute it is simply the opportunity to create a new story, than we can deal with Never. Your story gets a refresh, much more creative and entertaining opportunities await.

You might never walk again, but that single person hover craft you will invent works so much better! You make new goals and challenges and as soon as you decide on the new direction and let go of the past fantasies you can again enjoy life.

Life is a convoluted map and all we need to do is keep going forward with a story. Pick a story that energizes you and that you have some control over. (“…When I win the lottery”…puts you in a forever holding pattern. There is no travel there.) 

The saddest most depressed people are not the poor ones, the broken ones, the lonely ones…it is a person without a direction and a story. 

And guess what? You are totally in charge of your story and can change it with just a thought. Striving is fun…succeeding is not necessary, but a direction is.

The power of your story is everything. I hand over to you the key to the universe. Create the amazing entity that will be you…not once but at every intersection of life, and enjoy that journey.

Hugs, Pam

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